Mixed Signals

I will admit, there are times when I just do not understand men at all.  I don't think I'm alone in this either.  Case in point...

I have gone out twice with a man recently.  During our second date he asked me what I was looking for, to get married again, or what?  I told him truthfully and honestly that marriage wasn't at the top of my list.  I'm not ruling it out, but I've been there, done that in the past, got the t-shirt, the whole nine yards.  Instead, I am seeking someone who really adds value to my life in whatever capacity they are there.  I am looking for a  person I want to spend time with, who makes life fun, interesting, exciting.  Someone who is really great to be around.  Pretty clear, right?  He tells me that he is a little afraid of committment, and is concerned about settling in with someone too quickly and really is only interested in casual dating for now and not starting a relationship with anyone. 

This is great!  I do eventually want more with someone, however at this moment, with this man, I am enjoying doing things with him but I am far from sold on him being anything more than a good friend and fun person to be around.  So hey!  Sounds like we are on the same page, right? 

Well thats what I thought, but apparently not.  I got a text today from him, gently chiding me that he is always the one having to contact me first, I don't initiate contact.  And thats a valid gripe, its true, I don't usually.  But thats not the thing I didn't understand.  What I didnt get is this... he said he was ready for the holidays to be over as they slow down the development of new relationships (meaning us).  What relationship????  The relationship you said you werent interested in, weren't looking for?  The one you dont want to start? 

Rather non-plussed I responded with an extremely witty and intelligent "oh yeah?"  Yes, yes, I know, you all are jealous about how well I responded to that.  Thank you, thank you.

He texts me back "Had a great time with you last time...looking forward to much more." 

I can't complain about that response, its flattering and all.  But the "R" word has really thrown me.

So, yeah, men.  Dont really understand them.  Does anyone?   I have more examples of men's inexplicable behavior, I'll go in to more in my next posting.