Sick in the head

Being sick is wreaking havoc on my dating life! I came down with a head cold the other day, it might even be the flu, and I have been pretty miserable for the last few days. Kleenex and Nyquil are my constant companions and my nose begins to resemble a certain sled pulling reindeer.


Just prior to coming down with this bug, I was contacted by a man on a dating website who seemed very interested in learning more about me. His picture was cute, he wrote in complete and understandable sentences and didn’t appear at first glance to have any glaring defects. (If you are 35+ and single, you know these qualities in a single 35+ man are rare) We exchanged a few quick email volleys and made each other smile and want to know more, and then BOOM, this cold hit me. I feel miserable. I just want to close my eyes, cuddle up with my blanket and pillow and trusty box of Puffs extra strength with lotion, and pretend the world doesn’t exist.

Problem is… this guy doesn’t know or understand this. I get the next email from him and I feel so bad, I don’t even want to answer it. I don’t want to spend time on the computer, I’m sick! So I roll over and go back to sleep. Next morning, there’s another email from him. “Didn’t hear back from you…” Do I really HAVE to answer this? My head is full of cotton wool and my eyes don’t want to come unglued and the last thing I want to do is be witty and conversant via email. So I send a quick “I’m not ignoring you, I’m just sick,” note to him and go back to bed. Two days later I’m still not well but there are three more emails from him sitting in my inbox. The first one is get well wishes, the second asks if I’m better, the third is starting to get a questioning tone, wondering if I’m just using being sick as a way to blow him off.

I write back, “No I’m not ignoring you, yes I’m still sick although slowly getting better.” Practically before I hit send I have a response from him asking if we can talk on the phone. Does he really think I want to talk on the phone when I can’t even breathe with my mouth shut? Do I want his first impression of me to be one where I dalk like dis and cabnt breede? And that’s not to mention how alluring it is to have someone sniffing and coughing and sneezing in your ear, none the less pausing to blow their nose (a task I do that has often been compared to someone loudly blowing a trombone or an elephant trumpeting prior to charging).

After much explanation of this, he asks if I would like to set a date and time to meet in person. Some quick calculation on my part decides the day I will be able to once again speak like a normal person, breathe through my nose…and then add another 3 days for the redness, swelling and peeling of the Kleenex-dried appendage in the middle of my face to abate. I tell him approximately a week from now I’ll probably be up to meeting. I think that was the last straw. I get the final “I really thought we had a good connection but now you keep putting me off and seem very careless of when or if we even meet, I want someone more excited to meet me than that” email. And truth is, I don’t care. I’m way too sick to care! And I thank God that I can now go back to bed without feeling guilty.