Extreme Makeover

It’s a universal truth even if women don’t want to admit it – we see “potential” in men and date/court that, not necessarily the reality of the man before us. I don’t blame men for resenting that. But women will invest their time and attention in men whom we consider to have the potential to be what we are looking for. It may be how they dress, do their hair, the interests they have cultivated etc but the honest truth is that most women see a man and measure what could be, not the current status quo.




It’s not a case of loving someone the way they are. We can delude ourselves that we do…but the truth is – there are things we want to change about you guys.



You would be a great catch if only you…



1. Dressed better

2. Got a good hair cut

3. Invested in a good skin care line

4. Changed the kind of music you listen to

5. Worked out just a little

6. Quit watching Star Trek

7. Threw out the comic books

8. Had different friends

9. Drove a great car

10. Read a book



You get the idea. Of course this list varies with each girl according to our values, our taste, and the image we want to present to our friends. Because make no mistake – how our friends view you is incredibly important to us. You will not be appreciated if you ruin our “rep” with our best girlfriends. You see, we have an image of ourselves that we want other people to see. If you don’t fall in line with that, well, there’s only one of two things that can happen. You either change to conform to our image or you’re not affiliated with us anymore. Simple as that.



So yeah… Guys, there’s a reason we want to change you. You have to be compatible with our self image, our persona. If you don’t enhance that projection of ourselves then we just aren’t too sure we can let our name be linked to yours. This is why women will introduce a very good looking guy to their friends quickly, because that man enhances our rep, even if he is a jerk and treats us bad. But we will be slow and loathe to introduce our new beau who is the best, greatest guy in the world who treats us like gold …except he needs a new wardrobe and to be introduced into the 21st century, and steered gently to get rid of his obsession with Babylon 6 and clear out all the accumulated years of Star Wars action figures and directed to a more attractive “Mad Men” style of coolness prior to being publicly acknowledged by us as someone significant in our lives.



Girls, have you ever had a friend suddenly become all secretive about the new guy they are dating? It’s probably because they are early in the “my fair lady” makeover process. They don’t want you to meet the new guy until the “Steve Urkel” has been transformed into Johnny Depp.

This rule doesn’t hold as true for the long time couples. All a girl has to do there is avoid introducing the spouse or significant other and allow them to be a nebulous entity better left to the imagination. No one questions it, it works fine.



But when the relationship is new, our current and long standing friends who know us well will want to meet our new man. AND THEY WILL HAVE AN OPINION! And we don’t want that opinion to be negative. So we will be tempted to see if we can rent a Robert Downey Jr. look-alike.



Is this desire of women to change a man wrong? Yes of course! But it’s a fact of life. Women want their guy to be a credit to them, not make them pitied by friends. So the next time you start dating a girl and she oh so tactfully suggests you would look so great in this kind of shirt or if you wore that kind of pants or if you did your hair this cool new way… take it with a grain of salt. She sees your value, she just wants her girlfriends to do so also. Make her proud, bite the bullet. Embrace the makeover she is about to give you. You might find out you like it.