FWB's - The Quandry

Friends with benefits (FWB's). Sticky subject. I'm curious how my blog readers feel about this type relationship, so be sure to weigh in at the end with your thoughts and comments.




Just to make sure we are all on the same page, here is what I am referring to as an FWB relationship. Two people meet, like each other, but for whatever reason (and believe me, there are many!) there is reason to not jump into a traditional "dating with a view to creating something serious and long term" relationship.



One reason might be that one (or both) parties recently got out of a long term relationship and aren't ready or willing to get into another one immediately. Or maybe it's obvious that something long term won't work between the two of you, that maybe too much time spent together would not be advisable. Or possibly the other person doesn't have some of the "must have's" you want for a relationship partner, but you have great physical chemstry... The variables are endless.



The real question here is, is having this type of relationship a good or a bad thing? It's really hard for me to say!



One plus is, hey life is short, and just because you havent found Mr. or Ms. Right-For-You, does that mean you should have to remain celibate until you do? A FWB surely is better than random One Night Stands just because you have needs. Another plus is that it COULD possibly turn into more than just friends, down the road, as things change. Unlikely but possible. It could even be a good thing if having an FWB prevented you from feeling overly desperate for a physical relationship and may help you choose more rationally and logically your choice of a more permanent life partner, rather than a decision fueled by raging horomones.



But here are a few negatives... Is it really a friend or is it just about the benefits? Sometimes this kind of arrangement can leave you feeling "used", especially when the only time you see or hear from them is when they want sex. Other times it could happen that one person may develop feelings that are much deeper than friendship for the other and if it isn't mutual, it's almost always a recipe for disaster and heartbreak. And sometimes, because your sexual needs are being met, you give off a vibe of unavailability to those who are potential "Long-term relationship" suitors, which sabotages your future. And dont forget the potential problem that when you do meet someone great, when/if they find out you have this kind of relationship with someone else, they get upset and dont want to see you anymore.



So now its on you, the reader... What is your take? Has anyone had a really successful FWB story that you'd like to share? A really terrible one?
 
*note - I originally posted this on Facebook only and it generated a massive amount of responses.  I highly suggest checking the blog post on there and reading the comments as the readers were highly vociferous.  The direct link to this discussion is Here